Are You Good Enough?

All of us have asked ourselves this question at one time or another. Some of us ask it a lot. And it can mean different things depending on how we ask it.

Maybe we’re facing a challenge and wondering if our skills are up to par.

Maybe we’ve just put ourselves out there and we wonder whether our efforts hit the nail on the head…or missed the mark.

In either case, we can use “am I good enough?” to spur ourselves on, to get ourselves asking the questions we need to figure out how we can get better.

But sometimes we’re really asking if we are good enough. If who we are, especially what we look like and how “cool” we are is good enough.

Good enough to fit in.

Good enough to be accepted.

Good enough to be loved.

Those of us who grew up not quite fitting in know the pain of “am I good enough?” all too well, even if we’ve grown past it as adults. Then again, even those who belonged to the it-crowd probably asked themselves this question now and then. It’s a very human question.

Kristen Lamb’s recent post on Michael Jeffries’ (CEO of that clothing brand) abhorrent marketing strategy really touched me. Check out her post. It’ll make you think.

The older I’ve gotten, the more important “am I good enough?” has gotten for me, especially as a parent. I am a role-model to two (so far) impressionable human beings. How I ask and answer this question is critical to their development.

On the one hand, I want to always be growing and learning.  Good enough is rarely good enough, at least for things we are passionate about doing or things we must do well. I’m not terribly concerned with becoming an expert at changing my car’s oil but I am determined to become an awesome parent, a spectacular (and humble) human being and a great writer.

On the other hand, I want my children to know that they are always good enough to be loved just as they are. Each one of us is precious beyond compare. What you look like, wear or posses does not make who you are.

Beauty and fancy things have their perks but, in the end, they can do nothing for us a good character and a loving heart cannot do better.

What do you think? How do attitudes like Jeffries’ affect our self-image, especially kids’? How should we ask and answer “am I good enough?”

When is Getting Stuck the Best Thing?

I tend to write the way I live (or maybe I live the way I write), a sometimes-awkward hybrid between planning and winging it.

Writers often define themselves as either  plotter (planner) or pantser (that sometimes flaky person who considers herself spontaneous). While I’m no longer a die-hard pantser, I’m also not entirely a plotter. I’m somewhere between. A plantser, if you will.

Ooookay. Now where do I go?

Sometimes I plan well but I rarely plan thoroughly and even the best laid plans…well, you know how that one goes. In life, this not-infrequently leads to sitcom worthy snafus and a flurry of apologies on my end. In writing, it often leads to that monumentally unpleasant stuck place (what some might call “writers block”).

Of course, if you’ve got a plan, you can usually find your way out of that stuck place with all your limbs intact (more or less).

And some of the most beautiful places can only be found if you stray far from the path.

My current work-in-progress is the first novel I thoroughly plotted and I expected to breeze through it as I hadn’t my previous pantsed novels (now sitting in a drawer, hoping against hope to be revived someday). I knew I’d want to throw out the outline from time to time and explore the possibilities but I thought I’d simply come back, rework the outline and get on with my brilliant story.

You know you’re in trouble when you expect to “breeze” through anything.

In reality, the story plan kept me grounded. I was free to explore but I had all the landmarks in sight. But, the closer I pushed to “The End,” the more lost I felt. I felt like the path I had planned would take me home but it also felt shrouded in fog. The further I went, the heavier the fog got until…

I got stuck.

The ending felt right. The events leading up to the end felt mostly right. But still I needed something more.  So I wrestled with that something more until I started to think my plantsing had gotten me in more trouble than my pantsing. And I asked myself why, why, why?

Turns out the why was what I needed. The events leading up to the end of my novel needed a better why. Actually, they needed a why, period.

Once I started asking why those penultimate events had to be, I discovered my story lacked just one more character (contrary to the usual writing advice to pare down characters when possible). I needed someone who could provide the why for those final events and give the main characters a chance to (inadvertently) help set those events in motion.

Plus, said additional character stands a good chance of being a nasty thorn in the side in the next book(s).

In the end, getting stuck saved my story. If I hadn’t gotten stuck, I wouldn’t have asked why and I wouldn’t have a story that feels like a whole.

Could it be that getting stuck is a blessing in disguise, an opportunity to ask questions you never would have asked and go places you never could have imagined? Not just in writing, but in life? Maybe getting stuck is how we recognize the opportunity to change ourselves and our world.

What do you think? Has getting stuck ever turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to you?

Got Spring Fever?

A rose from my garden. I can’t take any credit for
their beauty or numbers…all I did was water ‘em.

spring fever (n):
1) A feeling of restlessness or excitement commonly associated with the approach of spring.
2) An irrepressible urge to go outside and play in the dirt.
3)An excuse for a decrease in productivity surround the advent of spring.

As you might have noticed, I took a wee break from blogging and social media-ing. I’d planned on taking a week or two off to  focus on a massive influx of work projects.

Then, two weeks turned into four.

Or something like that.

You know how it goes.

A strawberry from my garden. They’re not very sweet yet but that hasn’t stopped the tiny slugs from sampling (note the bite on the tip).

I’d like to blame my absence on a case of Spring Fever and maybe that’s partly so. After all, when I’m not in my dank little work cave (my home office), edumacating my offspring, or plodding away on the WIP (though not as much as I should, shame on me), I’m outside frolicking in the garden.

Okay, maybe not frolicking exactly. Unless you consider pulling weeds, pruning, amending soil and planting frolic. It may not be your idea of frolic but I have an immensely hard time pulling myself away from the garden to come in and do all the other important stuff that needs doing.

I’m calling it Spring Fever.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

And I’m not the only one enjoying spring. Our half husky, half german shepherd, all hurricane pup is having the most fun of all…

6 month old Merlin digging a hole for the new peach tree…about 10 feet away from where the tree will actually go.

Merlin resigns himself to his fate…a bath with the garden hose.

Rather than fight spring fever, maybe I should embrace it. Surely we could get just as much working and learning done outside as we could in…right?

Well, maybe not. But we should probably take advantage of the spring weather before summer kicks in. And, since it’s already in the high 80s to low 90s, that’s probably only a couple weeks away. Plenty of time for work and homeschool when it’s scorching out.

Are you in the throes of spring fever? What’s your favorite way to celebrate spring?

Creating a Following with HTML

Spice Up Your Blog with a Dash of Code

From time to time, I get the urge to do something new with my blog. The same thing manifests itself at home with an irresistable desire to rearrange the furniture. Fortunately for the blog (unlike moving furniture), the only heavy lifting involved is learning something new.

Now you code masters are probably laughing your closing tags off at me but I, unlike Al Yankovic, am fluent in neither Klingon nor JavaScript. However, I have picked up a few bits and pieces of HTML which you might find useful too.

How’d I Get Those Follow Buttons at the Top of the Page?

Some time ago, a friend asked me how I put my follow buttons at the top of the blog.

Come to think of it…I’m not sure if I actually sent the directions or totally forgot…sorry Selena! *hangs head in shame*

If you want to add follow buttons to your blog, you can drop them into image widgets and stack them in the sidebar and some WordPress themes have built-in follow buttons at the top of the blog. Of course, if you have a self-hosted site, you can install a social media plugin.

But, with a little code know-how and a lot of copy/paste, you can line up your follow buttons in neat row all by yourself.

Note: instructions for uploading images and using widgets are specific to WordPress. Other blogging platforms may function differently.

You can view the video version of these instructions here.

First, you need to do is find and download the follow buttons that fit your blog and turn them into hyperlinks to your social media sites. I found mine on Webtreats. They have tons of free buttons and icons. This is especially great if you want all your follow buttons to have the same style. Alternatively, you can download the free buttons provided by your social media sites.

Then, you need to upload the images to your Media Library and grab the image URL.

Don’t worry too much about image size as you can resize in the code. You can also edit the image to size (in Paint or some such…can you tell I’m a PC user?) before loading it to Media Library, edit and save the image in an online editor such as Pixlr or edit the image within your Library. If you opt to edit the image in your Media Library, just make sure you grab the updated image URL.

Note: If you edit the image in Paint, the transparent background will be lost. If your blog background is white, this isn’t a big deal but, if you have a dark background, you might want to work in Pixlr.

Next, you want to fire up an online HTML editor. You could use a Word (Open Office, etc) document to work with your code but I like the online editor because you can see each of your changes as it will look on your blog. I like the Real-Time HTML Editor.

One thing to note about the Real-Time editor is that it seems to work great in Chrome but not Firefox (for me anyway). If you try it in your browser and it doesn’t do anything, try Chrome.

You can use the following code to make any one of your follow buttons into a link to your social media.

<a href=”SOCIAL MEDIA LINK HERE” target=”_blank”><img src=”IMAGE URL HERE” width=”38″ height=”38″ border=”0″ />

The SOCIAL MEDIA LINK is the URL for your profile page. If you’re not sure how to grab it, go to your profile page on your social media site and copy the address from the address bar. Facebook is usually http://facebook.com/YourName, Twitter is http://twitter.com/YourID, etc.

The IMAGE URL comes from your Media Library.

You can change the size of the image by changing the number associated with “width” and “height.” You’ll want to keep proportions in mind when you’re working with icons that aren’t square. My Webtreat icons are all square transparent images with the social media symbol in the middle.

You can place several of these codes side by side (one after the other with no spaces) to create a follow button line up.

Here’s how it looks on the “front side” with Facebook, Twitter and StumbleUpon buttons:

Drop the completed code into a Text Widget on your Widgets Dashboard and you’ve got the makings of an epic following.

In the not too distant future, I’m planning to make the follow buttons light up or change on mouseover. When I do, I’ll be sure to share the secret with you.

What do you think? Is this something useful and fun for your blog? Any code wizards out there have suggestions?

Do You Talk Back?

“You might want to look both ways before crossing the…oh man…that’s gonna stain…”
Image by dchallender (Dave Challender) on Flickr (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

You’re driving along, minding your own business (or maybe your kids’ business in the back seat as they argue over who’s taking up whose oxygen or some other obscure manifestation of sibling rivalry), when another car whips out of nowhere and cuts you off.

Or you’re watching folks on tv do something ginormously stupid.

Or maybe you’re favorite team is losing (or winning).

Do you talk back to them?

Fess up, now.

You totally yell at the tv/radio/car in front of you, don’t you?

Or maybe you mutter.

Either way, you talk to them as if they can hear you when they can’t.

I’ll admit it, I do this shamelessly.

My kids used to ask me why, pointing out that the folks in the other car/on tv couldn’t hear me. I just explained that they could hear me…in their hearts. And now, while they haven’t progressed to critiquing those in other cars, said offspring do carry on with the tv and radio.

Aaaah, the joy of passing on your heritage to your children.

What about you? Do you talk to the tv/radio/YouTube video/cars around you? What’s your explanation for why you do it?

What’s the Best Thing About Getting Older?

As I barrel towards my thirty-mmrmpth birthday, I realize that I appreciate getting older.

Image by louderthanever Max! V on Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Okay, so there are wrinkles where there weren’t before (but, you know, just little ones), I almost always get called ma’am and rarely get carded when I wanna buy booze. So there’s that.

But with every year that goes by, I gain a larger sense of freedom to be who I am. Long gone is that adolescent sense that everyone is always watching me  and the worry that I’ll never quite fit in (whether I want to or not). And it’s not a “so what” or “screw the world” kind of attitude I’ve developed so much as a “life’s too short to not love me just as I am” attitude.

Life is too short. When we’re six and waiting for our birthday or summer or Christmas, the days seem creep by like a snail pulling a minivan but now we know they blow past us at a thousand miles an hour.

And none of us know how many of those days we have ahead of us.

Of course, it doesn’t take years to figure this stuff out and I’m probably a slow learner.

So, whatever birthday we last celebrated or are about to celebrate, be it the 5th or the 105th, let’s raise our glasses and toast ourselves, whoever we are and wherever we’re at. We may not be exactly who and where we want to be but the only way we can get there is to embrace ourselves as we are now.

Wrinkles and all.

Image by Stéfan (Stéfan) on Flickr
CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Psst…I’m turning 37.

There, I said it.

What do you think is the best thing about getting older?

Best Movies for the Kid in You

Image by JefferyTurner (Jeff Turner) on Flickr CC BY 2.0

If you have kid(s) in your life, you probably know that hanging out with them is the best excuse to act like a kid yourself. No, not the messy, tantrumy, “I’m telling Mom!” kinda kid stuff. The seeing the world with fresh eyes, playing dolls/legos, having an epic adventure in the backyard/living-room, acting goofy in public without shame kinda stuff.

And then there’s the kids movies. Even if you don’t have a kiddo to use as cover, there are some made-for-kids-beloved-by-grownups movies you just gotta see.

Here are some of my current favorites:

The Iron Giant (1999)

Kinda like an X-File for kids. Highly rewatchable.

***

Meet the Robinsons (2007)

A boy searching for himself and his place in the world. Wacky, hilarious and moving.

***

Up (2009)

This movie is unexpectedly deep and very moving. One of my family’s all-time favorites.

***

And you can’t forget the classics…

ET (1982)

Who can forget “ET phone home.” or the flying bikes? 

***

Mary Poppins (1964)

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…

***

What Are Your Favorite Kids’ Movies?

How Do You Waste Time?

Image via ICanHas.Cheezeburger.com

Every now and then, we all have to waste a little time(side note: the term “wasting time” makes me think of this). Maybe you need to unwind after a busy day. Maybe you need to unstick your brain. Or maybe you’re, you know, just plain procrastinating.  Whatever the reason, wasted time can be the best time.

And, of course….

If you enjoy the time you wasted and it leaves you feeling refreshed and all hopped up on creative juice, is it really a waste of time?

My current favorite ways to waste time:

• Watching Phineas & Ferb with my kiddos. Yeah, it’s a kids’ show. So what. The storylines are actually kinda good. 
• Surfing YouTube. This one I try to keep for when I have a lot of time to waste because one video leads to another which leads to another which leads to another…I have very little will power when it comes to related videos. Sigh.
• Playing fetch with the dogs. Okay, only half-alien-chihuahua actually fetches. The husky puppy just steals the ball from his little big sister and runs off with it. Still, it’s endlessly amusing to watch them battle over the coveted red squeaky ball.
• And, okay, yeah. I Can Has Cheezburger is still one of my very favorite wastes of time.

What are your favorite ways to waste time?

What if Money Didn’t Matter?

Recently, a friend shared this video on YouTube. It asks such a simple, beautiful question.

A question we rarely ask ourselves with any seriousness.

What would you do with your life if money were no object?

What would you do for a living if how much money you made and whether your chosen profession was a “real job” or not didn’t matter?

So, what would you do?

 

Where Can You Find the Best of the Blogosphere?

Image by Shena Pamela on Flickr CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

It’s February. Time for hearts, flowers, chocolate and a ginormous bloggy love-fest.

So, in the time-honored tradition of pimp-and-promote, it’s time to share your very favorite blog posts. What are the best blog posts you’ve seen (new or old)? Share someone else’s and share one of yours.

Note: ginormous bloggy love-fests may be illegal in some states…always follow the law…and always use virus-protection software.

Happy Valentine’s Day!