Killer Thursdays

What’s Missing from the For Dummies Collection?

For DummiesYou’ve almost certainly seen these books in the bookstore (yes, the mythic bookstore does still exist…but it’s sort of like tracking down Bigfoot), library or on your friend’s bookshelf. More than likely, you own or have read at least one.

I’m talking, of course, about the For Dummies series.

My personal collection includes Writing Fiction for Dummies (by Randy Ingermanson, the Snowflake guy), Piano for Dummies (because I will learn to play the piano, darnit) and Web Marketing for Dummies (which I’m pretty sure isn’t even mine because I don’t remember buying it and I’ve never opened it).

Even though that whole “For Dummies” bit never fails to make me snicker and some of the titles give me pause:

Not that any of these wouldn’t be great books. I’m sure they’re super helpful…it’s just the the idea of any of those titles.

Know what I mean?

Perusing the ginormous catalog of For Dummies titles, you might think they have a For Dummies for everything. However, I discovered they are shockingly remiss in some areas.

cat king of the city
Mittens takes his first steps towards world domination, thanks to World Domination For Dummies.

Did you know they don’t have a World Domination For Dummies? Taking over the world is a challenging endeavor. If you want to be the next king/queen of the world, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.

Also, there’s no Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse For Dummies. Oh sure, Max Brooks has The Zombie Survival Guide and you can probably pick up quite a few good tips from a Romero flick or any of Jonathan Maberry‘s books. But wouldn’t it useful to have a survival guide with For Dummies’s trademark tips, warnings and exercises?

Neither is there a Having a Complete Meltdown For Dummies. I don’t know about you but I’ve been on the verge of more than one of these. A few tips and tricks would have helped a lot.

eyes closed
I am NOT sleeping. I’m just closing my eyes so I can meditate on what you said.

And what about Embarrassing Your Children For Dummies? Pretending to Not Be Asleep While Falling Asleep in Class/Church/the Big Meeting For Dummies? Getting Fit Without Having to Exercise or Stop Snarfing Contraband Twinkies Little Debbie Cakes For Dummies?

Surely there are markets for any of these and more. All we need are the books.

What about you? What title do you think really, really needs to be on the For Dummies list?

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Image via For Dummies series (fair use)
Bengal tiger out for a hunt. by Someguy of the Outerworld and Afar, on Flickr | CC BY-NC 2.0
eyes closed. by Corinna A. Carlson, on Flickr | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

6 thoughts on “What’s Missing from the For Dummies Collection?

  1. Ooh, good question! I can’t think of one of the top of my head though… Real Simple magazine sometimes feels like a For Dummies book, they’ve got such great tips.

  2. @Deniz: Especially their cleaning and organizing tips. I need a lot of help with that. LOL

    @Gabriellan: Pretty sure my kiddos would be first in line to read that one. 😀

    @Haley: Bwahaha. I’d buy that one too. There’s some things I wanna see first hand.

    @Julie: 😀 Absolutely. I tell my kiddos it’s my job to embarrass them sometimes. It’s good for character. 😉 I’d buy the schmoozing one too. Cause I’m more naturally an introvert. Though social media is helping.

  3. It looks like you’ve discovered a market niche. I’m sure people would buy them, especially World Domination for Dummies. How about Getting Scammed for Dummies? That only has to be blank pages.

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