Tuesday Toss-Up

Procrastination Nation

I sit down to write and the tiny procrastinators begin to march through my mind waving their tiny flags, each one marked with yet another way to procrastinate. Did I throw in that load of laundry? Did I check the library for overdue books? Did I write down the last book I read in my book journal? What was the last book I read anyway? Maybe I should go look at all the books I have stacked by the bed and see if I can figure it out. Is that the cat? Is he locked in the pantry again? No doubt trying to bust into the catnip. That’s a lot of frost on the lawn today. Maybe I should check the weather for today. Did I update that weather app on my phone? When was the last time I synced my phone? Is that how you spell “synced” or is there an “h” in there somewhere. Did I check my email? Maybe I should email my grandmother. Did my daughter email her cousin? I haven’t been on Facebook in forever. There’s probably a ton of messages for me…or maybe not. And then there’s that Twitter account I used only once. I hear everybody uses

Twitter. Maybe I’m missing out. Does Stephen King twitter? Why does that sound so obscene? I bet you could write a scary story about Twitter. Wait…I think I read one about zombies and Twitter. Where did I read that? Maybe I should look it up. All this procrastinating is making me hungry. Maybe I should have a snack. Did I take my vitamins this morning? I should definitely have a snack if I’m going to take my vitamins. We still have some brownies left from the party. How many calories are in one of those things? I could put some orange marmalade on the brownie. Mmmmmm. There’s still a whole bag of oranges that need to be made into marmalade tout de suite. Is that how you spell that? I need a dictionary. I think I have one. It might be packed in a box. In the garage maybe. Or in the closet. The closet really needs cleaning out. It’s pretty messy. So unorganized. Just one more of my many failings. Sigh. Is that the cat again? I forgot to check the pantry. Yep, he was locked in there again. Why does he go in there? It can’t just be the catnip. We’re out of that, by the way. I need to go to the pet store and get some more. So fun to watch the cat tripping on the ‘nip. Catnip. Isn’t that some kind of mint? You can grow it in the garden. It might even be medicinal. Maybe I should grow some. I have plenty of empty pots. I need potting soil. And gardening gloves. Mine are trashed. The garden is in pretty sorry shape. The pom tree needs some pruning before it leafs out. I think the apple tree is dead. I should plant something new. Is it too late already to plant a new tree? Can I plant something there where the other tree died? Is there a fungus in the soil? What did the tree die of anyway? I bet there’s a site somewhere that’s like Medline for plants. I need to water the plants around the house. I need to change the water in the fish tank. Did I feed the fish this morning? What am I going to write about? What’s everybody else writing about? Maybe I should read some of my subscriptions…

On and on they troop, that nation of procrastinating pixies, waving  their banners proudly. And the empty page stretches before me, cursor blinking away in accusation. But today…today I have outsmarted the procrastinators (unless they’ve outsmarted me in yet another way). Today, I wrote about procrastinating with my writing. So, even though it was all about procrastination, I still wrote something. Neener neener neener, little procrastinators.

8 thoughts on “Procrastination Nation

  1. Ahh, procrastination… It feels so good right up to the point where you remember that you’re procrastinating. 🙂

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