What’s Missing from the For Dummies Collection?

You’ve almost certainly seen these books in the bookstore (yes, the mythic bookstore does still exist…but it’s sort of like tracking down Bigfoot), library or on your friend’s bookshelf. More than likely, you own or have read at least one.

I’m talking, of course, about the For Dummies series.

My personal collection includes Writing Fiction for Dummies (by Randy Ingermanson, the Snowflake guy), Piano for Dummies (because I will learn to play the piano, darnit) and Web Marketing for Dummies (which I’m pretty sure isn’t even mine because I don’t remember buying it and I’ve never opened it).

Even though that whole “For Dummies” bit never fails to make me snicker and some of the titles give me pause:

• Being a Great Dad For Dummies
• Flirting For Dummies
• Confidence for Dummies
• Building Your Own Home For Dummies

Not that any of these wouldn’t be great books. I’m sure they’re super helpful…it’s just the the idea of any of those titles.

Know what I mean?

Perusing the ginormous catalog of For Dummies titles, you might think they have a For Dummies for everything. However, I discovered they are shockingly remiss in some areas.

Mittens takes his first steps towards world domination, thanks to World Domination For Dummies.

Did you know they don’t have a World Domination For Dummies? Taking over the world is a challenging endeavor. If you want to be the next king/queen of the world, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.

Also, there’s no Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse For Dummies. Oh sure, Max Brooks has The Zombie Survival Guide and you can probably pick up quite a few good tips from a Romero flick or any of Jonathan Maberry‘s books. But wouldn’t it useful to have a survival guide with For Dummies’s trademark tips, warnings and exercises?

Neither is there a Having a Complete Meltdown For Dummies. I don’t know about you but I’ve been on the verge of more than one of these. A few tips and tricks would have helped a lot.

I am NOT sleeping. I’m just closing my eyes so I can meditate on what you said.

And what about Embarrassing Your Children For Dummies? Pretending to Not Be Asleep While Falling Asleep in Class/Church/the Big Meeting For Dummies? Getting Fit Without Having to Exercise or Stop Snarfing Contraband Twinkies Little Debbie Cakes For Dummies?

Surely there are markets for any of these and more. All we need are the books.

What about you? What title do you think really, really needs to be on the For Dummies list?

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Image via For Dummies series (fair use)

Bengal tiger out for a hunt. by Someguy of the Outerworld and Afar, on Flickr CC BY-NC 2.0

eyes closed. by Corinna A. Carlson, on Flickr CC BY-NC-SA 2.0*

Tiny Terrors

How can something so small be so horrifying?

Okay, maaaaaaybe more cute than horrifying.

Enjoy these super scary little monsters.

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Now this one doesn’t have anything to do with babies but it’s a real scream. You’ll see what I mean…

 

What Gets Your Pulse Pounding?

I am NOT hiding under the bed. I’m…um…looking for dust bunnies.

With the smell of Halloween still in the air (that is chocolate on your hands, right?), it’s good time to ask you about the stories that thrill you the most.

Heart pounding. Heavy breathing. Laying awake at night, scenarios running through your head.

Be they action, thriller, disaster, suspense, horror or whatnot, which books, movies and/or tv shows get you going? Which ones would you read again and again and recommend to friends (or enemies)? Which ones do you dare not read again because they were that good?

Imaged Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
You can’t possibly see me hiding under the bed… by Ninithedreamer, on Flickr CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

How Do You Disappear?

What if someone was after you? What if he would do anything to find you.

And, if he found you….

Stacy Green, author of Into the Dark (coming in November) tells us about stalkers…:

What would you do if you had a stalker and the police wouldn’t–or couldn’t–help? What if your stalker stayed one step ahead of them, like the Taker in my debut novel, Into The Dark? He knows the city, knows how to navigate the Vegas storm drains, knows how to lead a double life. He’s smart, streetwise, and heavy on charm. His victim, Emilie, is back on her heels from the very beginning of the book. He’s a faceless, nameless entity, and she’s terrified.

But what if you knew your stalker? What if he (or she–women stalk too) was an ex who refused to give up…?

…and shows us how to disappear:

First up, find every bit of information about yourself and do your best to change it or destroy it. This means calling utilities companies and leaving bogus information, whether it’s a false address or deleting an account all together. It involves some serious lying, but it’s crucial to wipe out as much information as possible. It means removing your name from Google, from Yahoo, from phonebooks, warranties off electronics and accounts at stores, including the grocery, library cards. You get the picture.

Read the rest at Stacy’s Thriller Thursday: What If You Had to Disappear?

What would you do if you had a dangerous stalker? Could you disappear? With all the information on the internet and the way that information is growing, is it really possible to disappear completely? Is it going to get harder to disappear in the future or will our online use actually make it easier (for those with the right tech skills)?

Has the Robot Uprising Already Begun?

While we’re all getting ready for the zombie apocalypse, the robots could be plotting to take over the world.

Has it already begun?

The hilarious folks at Cracked say yes…

You’ve been warned.

What do you think? Will computers ever gain sentience? And, if they do, will it be like Terminator or will we all coexist peacefully?

How Sympathetic Can a Zombie Be?

Zombies Were People Too

The 3rd Rot & Ruin Book

I recently read Jonathan Maberry‘s Rot and Ruin series, the story of four friends who’ve grown up in a zombie devastated world. As they try to find their place in this world, they have to choose between safety, an illusion crafted from stagnation and denial for many of the survivors, and freedom in a land where everything wants to kill them.

While the novels deliver all the shambling, flesh-hungry zombie terror you’d expect, it also packs a huge emotional punch. Good horror makes you care about the characters but Jonathan Maberry makes you care about the monster too.

Yes, we are talking about zombies here. And, yes, they’re still dangerous (getting more dangerous all the time too) but you can’t escape the fact that each one of those zombies had a life, a family. No matter who they were in life, they were somebody’s child, sibling, parent or love. They were people too.

Of course, those people are now zombies who will eat you alive and turn you into to one of them.

So, there’s that.

Actually, maybe it’s that we can see ourselves in the zombies that really makes zombies scary. They are us and show us what we could be.

What do you think? Can zombies really be sympathetic? Do those sympathetic elements make the zombie scarier or less scary?

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Image via jonathanmaberry.com (fair use)
Zombie by e_monk, on Flickr CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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Are You Ready for Fall Chills?

Fall is officially here. If the continued hot weather has you confused, just check out the sudden blossoming of Halloween decorations and candy displays in all the stores. Actually, the Halloween stuff’s probably been up since August. I’m expecting Thanksgiving stuff to start popping up by next week.

Anyway, it’s Fall and you know what that means…the return of some of our favorite tv shows. Dexter is already set up for a fascinating season and, in just about two weeks, American Horror Story and The Walking Dead are creeping back to tv screens everywhere.

Are you ready?

*note: the following contains mild spoilers for last season of The Walking Dead.*

The Walking Dead, Season 3
Premieres October 14

Last season, our ever dwindling group of survivors were forced out of the safety of Hershel’s farm by a herd of walkers. On the run and running out of fight, we caught a glimpse of their salvation…the prison.

What do you think?

What’s in store for Andrea, travelling with Michonne? Is Woodbury safe haven or worse than the outside?

At the prison, how far will Rick be willing to go to keep his group safe?

How closely will the show parallel the comic series this season?

American Horror Story: Asylum
Premieres October 17

Last season, we met the Harmons, a family coming undone even before they fell prey to the Murder House. While the spooks and haunts may have left us sleepless many nights, the unfolding of each family’s tragedy and how they intertwined with the Harmons’ was the true horror.

This season, it’s a new location and new story. Some of our favorite actors from last season will be returning in different roles. Rumor has it that last season’s enemies may be this seasons allies.

Given all the creepy promos, what do you think’s in store for our asylum staff and guests?

What Will Dexter Do to Keep His Secret?

*For those that aren’t caught up with Dexter, there are some mild spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned.*

Season 7 of Showtime’s Dexter premieres in just three days, on September 30!

Last season, Dexter ended with a monster cliff hanger. Deb had just realized something earth shattering about her relationship with foster-brother Dexter and was about to confess when she walked in on Dex at the worst possible moment…

Quite a few ticking time bombs were set in Season 6. There’s Debra’s newly recognized romantic love for Dexter (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and her discovery of Dexter in flagrante delicto. How will she keep both secrets to herself? And then there’s spurned intern with morbid curiosity more than a casual interest in Dexter. If Season 7 pays off on all the story promises of Season 6, it could be the best season yet (especially for those that may have wandered away from the show).

What do you think? Are you looking forward to Season 7? What do you think about Deb finding out she’s in love with Dexter? What about her catching Dexter dispatching Travis Marshall? And what do you think the creepy intern has planned? Any predictions for this season?

What if Your Favorite Feel Good Movies Were Recut as Horror?

Have you ever wondered what your favorite feel-good movies would be like if they were recut as horror movies?

Okay, maybe not.

But I bet you will after this.

An uncle plots to murder his brother and nephew, then take over the kingdom. But, you know, it’s a Disney movie…so it can’t be that scary…

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What if Sleepless in Seattle really made you sleepless?

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There’s nothing like a road trip aboard a haunted train to put you in the holiday mood…

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Okay, this last one’s a gimme. What isn’t creepy about a guy who dresses up as a female housekeeper so he can spy on his wife and kids?

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And just to show you that the editing knife cuts both ways, here’s The Shining recut as a romantic comedy:

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Which movie/television show would you love to see recut as another genre? 

 

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Pick Your Apocalypse

The end is nigh.

Or maybe it’s not. I mean, what is “nigh” anyway? Is it tomorrow? Next week? A billion years from now?

Anyway, we all know the world will end. Someday. The only question is how and when.

But the “when” is not really important for the purposes of this post. Just the “how.”

So, how will the the world end?

That’s up to you.

First, check out this After Hours episode from Cracked:

Note: it’s not especially work or kiddo friendly…so, you’ve been warned.

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Elmo. Is. Coming. For. You.

Now, you tell us which apocalypse you would pick (if you pick…which you probably can’t…so you might want to be prepared for them all…just saying)? Would it be aliens? Robots? Zombies? Pandemic? Asteroids? Elmo clone attack?

I kinda favor a Day After Tomorrow scenario. See, if I had to fight something, I’m pretty sure I’d lose and get eaten or enslaved or whatever (which really makes me want to go exercise right now).  And asteroids have all that agony of knowing about them ahead of time and waiting until they strike. At least a flash freeze would be a quick way to go.

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So which apocalypse would you pick and why. You can share in the comments section below or share via blog post and linky.

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Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Abandoned City by lrargerich, on Flickr CC BY 2.0
my tickle me Elmo TMX by Adam Foster | Codefor, on Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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